Five bad habits that lead to tango misery
Tango is a physical challenge, but the biggest obstacles are mental. Here are five common ones that can really trip us up and make things unnecessarily miserable…
Not accurately measuring our progress: Our perception of what improvement should feel like is almost never consistent with how it actually happens. If we have been dancing regularly, we are probably getting better. But the process is gradual and we don’t notice it right away. Don’t succumb to frustration or the belief that should be doing something wrong if we are not improving in the exact way we envision. Every once in a while, we need to step back and think about how far we’ve come since our first lesson.
Comparing ourselves as a way to determine how “good” we are: This is also a common problem in many activities that are not tango, and it is natural to feel insecure from time to time. But comparing us is the wrong way to approach it. For every dancer we envy, there are probably many who wish they were like us. And the dancers we envy probably wish they could be like someone else. This rabbit hole leads to nothing but negativity and a distorted perspective of ourselves. Let’s avoid it.
Putting too much pressure on ourselves to try or remember new figures right after learning them.: Practices They are better places to try new things. in a milongas, it’s best to stick to the numbers we know (especially for leaders), even if they’re basic. For both leaders and followers, it’s fine if all we can remember are a few basic technical points. It’s better to do a few things well than to be carelessly mediocre at a lot of them. By repeating the few things we are good at, we are building a foundation for progress.
Equating lack of experience with bad dancing:Of course we’re not going to slide across the floor like a pro if we’ve only had a few lessons. But hanging your head in shame and calling ourselves a bad dancer soon after school starts is like criticizing a 9-month-old for doing poorly. Let’s have a little patience with ourselves!
Thinking you don’t belong: This state of mind is extremely unpleasant and certainly feels real. But is not. In tango there is no exclusive “cool people”. It is worth noting the variety of people who participate in this dance. Everyone belongs, but no one needs to “fit in.”