What do I say when my ex calls me?
The phone call from the ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend)… is one of the most critical points in a reconciliation. If you are looking for a way to get back together, getting your ex to call you should be your thing. top priorities. By re-establishing contact with your ex-lover, you can gain valuable insight into whether or not he wants you back, is he ready to reconcile, or is he calling for some other reason.
If you’ve been on the receiving end of a breakup, there’s a good chance you still want to date your ex girlfriend or boyfriend. You’ve probably tried the traditional methods of getting that person back: talk them out of the breakup, write down your feelings, call or email them long letters explaining why you should stay together. It’s also likely that all of those things failed, as they should. In fact, they are some of the worst moves you can do while trying to win back an ex.
By walking away from the breakup and leaving your ex to his own thoughts, you are allowing a lot of good things to happen. First, any anger or bitterness they have will dissipate. Second, both of you will have time to think about things from a very different perspective: that of being totally alone. Third and most important, each of you will have the opportunity to miss each other. And the longer you wait without contacting your ex, the stronger the feelings of curiosity and longing become.
And then it happens: the phone call from the ex-girlfriend (or boyfriend). “What do I say when my ex calls me?” – It’s a great question. But while what you say is extremely important, what whose they say it is equally so. And let’s not forget how you say things: another important factor in how well this phone call will go. Don’t be caught off guard, will you learn what to say now so that it is fresh in your memory.
things to avoid while talking on the phone with your ex:
* Being too excited
* Show anger or bitterness
* Any show of despair
* Talking about the breakup
* Make demands or create deadlines
* Interrogate your ex
* A confrontational tone
All of the above actions are relationship destroyers…they will either change your ex very quickly, or turn them away from dating you altogether. Your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend called because she was curious…they want to know where you are and why you are not chasing them. There is a possibility that they want to get back together, or at least explore the option. But there is also the possibility that they are not ready yet. You need to learn the signs and signals your ex will give when he or she is ready to possibly reconcile. Being overly friendly, suggesting a meeting, asking about the current status of your relationship – these are all good signs, but there are many, many others.
So what should you say when your ex calls you? Something like this:
“Hey wow, great to hear from you! How have you been?”
Let your ex talk here, tell you why he called you, maybe fill a little time with small talk before you get to the real reason you’ve got him on the phone. Whatever the reason your ex gives for calling? Don’t challenge them on it. Let her walk right by and let your ex get comfortable with the fact that she called.
If your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend asks about you, let them know that you’re doing great. Be vague about what she’s been up to and don’t give details. If you spill everything on the table, they may realize that you’re still going to “be around” for a while and lose interest quickly. But if your ex wonders if you’ve moved on or if you’ve met someone else… he or she will be nervous about it. They may ask you more about it or offer to meet with you to talk some more. When your ex girlfriend or boyfriend calls you on the phone, you want to Always leave them wanting more.. This will secure another call, or better yet, lead to a meeting date.
After a few minutes of conversation (no more than 2 or 3) you will want to get off the phone as quickly as possible. That’s when you say:
“Listen, I’m so sorry, but I have a million things right now. I have to go. Call me next week or something?”
Many things are achieved with these three small lines. First, you are generating interest because you are apparently very busy. Your ex will wonder why you’re busy, and they’ll also appreciate the fact that you stopped talking to them, even for a while.
Next, he was very vague about where he’s going. Your ex girlfriend or boyfriend will be naturally curious about exactly what you are doing, but she won’t dare ask. Until they go out with you again, whatever you’re doing is none of her business.
Another great thing: simply made your ex agree to call you again. This is huge, because it happened so fast your ex couldn’t even disagree! He or she probably just nodded or mumbled a quick “yeah, okay.” Note that he did not offer to call them back, instead he asked them to call you. It’s a pretty nifty move that puts the ball in your court and gives you an advantage when the phone rings again.
Finally, he dropped the words “next week” in there. Like you’re so busy for the rest of the week and I don’t want to be disturbed. This is a tremendous seed that will grow and grow in your ex’s mind over the next few days. Are you seeing someone else? Did you find another guy or girlfriend? These things will go through your ex’s mind, because he or she will naturally assume that you have something pretty good going. After all, you said the phone call from him to run off and do something else.
Do you know what happened during this phone call? You turned the tables and took control of the situation. When your ex broke up with you, he assumed full power over what happened next. you just had a big chunk of that power back. Your ex’s head is full of questions and it seems like you are in complete control. It almost seems like you couldn’t care less whether or not your ex calls you next week, and that’s exactly how it should seem.
Never ask the question “What do I say when my ex calls me?” again. Know what to do. Take control of your breakup and change everything in a few short sentences. By giving your ex his space, allowing him to miss you, and then letting your ex’s mind work overtime to figure out what’s going on in your world? You just took giant steps toward getting back together with your boyfriend or girlfriend.