How to make women love you: six ways to be masculine
One of the most frequent topics of questions I get has to do with how EXACTLY to “be masculine.”
Inherently, most of us (men and women alike) suspect that the diametrically opposite personas of “Mr. Good Guy” and “Bad Guy” may not be the only possible choices when it comes to placing guys according to your preferences. his overall behavior.
But based on what you tend to read nowadays, you would think that was the case.
Well, you know I spend a lot of time talking about the concept of being a GREAT MAN.
He’s not a neutral, effeminate “Mr. Nice Guy” who thinks he can get somewhere by “making out” with pretty women. He’s not some ruthless, abusive slacker who slaps women, either.
It’s all about being a HIGH QUALITY human being, exuding pure masculine presence at all times.
And it’s that “male presence” factor that tends to confuse men everywhere. Surely this isn’t about being “macho.” It is not about “slaying dragons” and “conquering enemies”.
Of course not. At least not these days, for most of us.
So how about a little straight talk about what it’s all about?
Touch the exact subject.
Here are six measures of TRUE MASCULINITY, as adored by women everywhere.
Notice that “adored” begins with an “A”. I made it so that each point below starts with an “A” as well. Call this lesson “How to be straight as in masculinity.” Ready? Here we go:
1) Help with force
I was recently talking to a guy who was told by a great woman that he probably wasn’t her “type”, as disappointed as she was about it.
When asked why, the first reason that came to mind revolved around how she had been struggling with a heavy suitcase at the airport… while he watched empty-handed. Sure, women are more “independent” now than ever before. But here’s an important hint: That doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you doing the “heavy lifting” for them.
In fact, if you proudly do the big reach, the heavy lifting, and the opening of the pickle jar…and she does NOT appreciate it, that’s not your problem. I promise.
2) Affirm strongly
About two hours ago I received an email from a guy I’m working with who is making amazing strides in his newfound ability to make high quality women want him immensely.
The last? At the end of an event the other night, the place was closing, but a woman (who he wasn’t even particularly attracted to) needed to use the bathroom before heading on a long drive home. When told by an on-site employee that she couldn’t, our lead man reasoned a “new commitment to customer service” into the employee’s mindset. He did it calmly, but with determination.
And ALL the women around him, including the one he was attracted to, took notice. Fantastic.
Take charge of the people in your life when it’s the right thing to do. Do not worry if who you defend is attractive or not. Do this especially when it is potentially uncomfortable for both you and the person who needs to take some initiative.
Try opening such conversations with “You and I need to ‘visit’ each other for something.” That’s a phrase born in Texas with universally understood intentions of having a direct but civil conversation about a point of disagreement.
3) Assist hard
Do what you say you will do, when you say you will do it.
Keep promises, without complaining.
When you’re wrong, which will be very rare, apologize.
When women can trust your promises, you build that level of SECURITY in their minds AND in their hearts. When you tell women you’ve got things handled, they BELIEVE YOU. This is not to be confused with being predictable or having a pleading problem. If you are repeatedly “owned” by women, then you are missing the point.
Think rock solid LEADERSHIP instead of kissing yourself and you will be well on your way to greatness. Women cannot resist a trustworthy and trustworthy man. It says a lot about the strength of your core character as a MAN (as we’ll see later).
4) Align Strongly
While #3 above (Assist) talks about your actions, this one talks about your MAIN character. This is the broadest and most far-reaching concept. Essentially, by “alignment” here I mean that all of your “numbers match”, just like what makes a classic car particularly valuable.
Coherence in all your thoughts, beliefs and values… beyond words and deeds. There is a distinct CONGRUENCE between what you appear to be and what you really are.
In case you were wondering, YES… this is yet another way to perfectly encapsulate the elusive cure for the “what should I do now syndrome” plaguing men everywhere in their interactions with women.
5) Take it hard
Yes, I know what happens when you assume. But what we’re talking about here is not being naive but giving up need for social trust. A real man assumes approval and even attraction without demanding or pleading for it. This results in an unmistakable aura of utter confidence exuding dignity and masculine presence.
Many guys have no idea what women might see in Leonardo DiCaprio. He used to be one of my least favorite actors for exactly that reason. Once I dedicated myself to learning about what women really want, I soon (and unknowingly) became a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio.
He has THIS down, that’s why.
6) Anticipate strongly
Well, since “A Plan” sounded a bit, well, forced… I chose “Anticipate” as the sixth “A” on this particular report card. Come to think of it, I think “anticipate” is exactly the word I was looking for anyway.
Have a plan. When he picks her up, he knows where the night is headed. Don’t download that on her. She won’t appreciate it.
Have a plan for your LIFE too. Do you think women want rich guys? Well, being rich is simply a symptom of AMBITION, as we have discussed here before. Women love a man with a plan for his life.
It is irresistible to them.
But “anticipation” is more than a plan. It’s LEADERSHIP.
The anticipator has his “plan” planned with several chess moves in advance. That way, no matter what, he never gets nervous. He’s the guy with the Swiss Army knife. He’s the guy with the jumper cables. We already know (see #1) that he’s the guy who rescues his wife when she has a flat tire.
With the measure of confidence provided by #5 above, the guy with the deep-rooted “field sense” we’re talking about here becomes the de facto leader in any situation where the chips are down. After a few battle-tested forays, genuine WISDOM is, naturally, the imminent and desired result.
Note that all six “A” words are modified with FORCE. My purpose there is that I want you to clearly see the difference between what women see as STRENGTH versus the traditionally male understanding.
Muscular men are not necessarily the “strong” ones for most women. In fact, depending on your motivations they may seem quite the opposite.
Can you see that clear difference now? Reflect for a moment on the personality of the type of person who meets the 6 “A’s” above. Can you see how the MASCULINE traits combine with CHARACTER to form an image that is intensely attractive precisely to WOMEN OF HIGH CHARACTER?
To sum it all up, being a GREAT MAN who gets somewhere with GREAT WOMEN is defined more by what THE WOMEN THEMSELVES WANT from a man than by our own visions of speed, power, all-conquering wealth, and world domination.
Many of us as men throw up our hands and pronounce women as “impossible to understand.” Meanwhile, women are on the other side of the fence baffled by the “enigma” that is masculinity. The truth is that we are all human. And we are much more LIKE than you think, especially when it comes to the makeup of our CHARACTER.
If you want women who will lie, cheat, and eventually cuckold you one day, then deceptive “quick fixes” and pure “seduction” play may do the trick. If you want a GREAT WOMAN, the strategy is VERY different.
But still, understanding the ways in which we ARE different is the real secret to transforming exceptional manliness into an exceptional ability to ATTRACT the BIKES (Members of the opposite sex) you desire most.
And it is by no means impossible.