Do cheaters feel embarrassed by their lack of integrity and character?

It is part of human nature to doubt the claims of someone who has already lied to you or cheated on you. Therefore, the spouse who had an affair can claim that they are beyond remorse, shame, shame, and even mortification for their behavior. But his wife can’t help but wonder why he didn’t feel any of these emotions when he continued the affair. Many people wonder how “real” these claims really are.

You might hear someone say something like, “This is what I want to know. Are cheaters really ashamed or embarrassed about their behavior? That’s why I’m asking. Over the past two months, two of my very good friends found that her my husband was cheating. Coincidentally, my husband and I were attending a sporting event that was popular and drew a large crowd. In fact, we saw one of these men with the other woman. Instead of bending over and trying to hide from us (which is what he would have done) this guy literally puffed out his chest like he was proud to be seen with this much younger woman. He gave my husband a look like my husband should be envious. This guy acted like if I was ecstatic that he dated a woman young enough to be his daughter while his family was home and heartbroken. And yet the wife had told me that he begged her not to. I would leave all the time telling him how embarrassed he was. I sure didn’t seem embarrassed. , one of my best friends is riddled with guilt because her former boyfriend looked up for her on Facebook and didn’t tell her husband right away. Nothing happened. She gave the boy a quick reply telling him how happily married she was. This was not a cheat. And yet my friend is very embarrassed, as if she did something wrong. I’ve heard people on TV say that cheaters get embarrassed, but I don’t think so. It seems to me that people who fail to cheat feel ashamed or embarrassed, while the true and shameless cheats are not. “

I can understand why it seems like this. And you would probably assume the same in a similar situation. In fact, I often doubted my own husband’s alleged shame because I thought most of that shame was happening simply because he got caught. But, once I started writing articles on this topic and started receiving responses, I must say that I heard from many people who deeply regretted having cheated on their spouses and felt great shame. Of course, I rarely hear from the outraged cheater who feels little or no remorse, but I know there are people who feel that way. So I can’t say precisely what percentage of people who cheat are embarrassed.

But I honestly think some do. And my theory on this is that the higher the quality of the person and the stronger his character, the more likely he is to feel ashamed. Because let’s face it. An unfaithful husband who never does the right thing, who cheats with his taxes, is stingy with his emotions and who is cruel to others is not going to feel much shame when he cheats because this is the norm for him. It is in his character to act in a way that most of us would find unpleasant.

But people who are known to be good, decent, and caring in all other aspects of their lives and who make a mistake often feel real remorse and real shame. Now, I’m not going to tell you that these good people don’t compartmentalize or try to find a justification for their behavior. If they can’t do this, they may not be able to perform their cheats. Nor am I going to tell you that good people don’t try to take a stand and pretend they feel they have their reasons, even if they know in their hearts that they didn’t.

But usually when good people see the pain in their spouse’s eyes and take the time to honestly look at what they have done and who they have hurt, then yes, they feel ashamed and often very ashamed. This is just my opinion of the things I have seen and the stories I hear. But I do believe that there is often regret and remorse, even if it is repressed. But I also think it depends on the character of the person you are talking about.