What is my husband thinking while we are apart? Here are some tips to help figure out your feelings.
I often hear from wives who wish they could read their husband’s mind during a marital separation. Often, he is not being very transparent about her thought process and this is very frustrating for wives.
Common comments are something like, “My husband and I have been apart for a couple of months, but he’s not very forthcoming about what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling. Some days he’s responsive to me and other days he’s not. So I can’t Tell me if you feel especially fond of me or if you feel that I might want to live again and try to save our marriage at different times and that when you make a decision you will share it with me. This is breaking my heart. I have no problem telling you. how I feel. Why can’t he do the same? What do husbands think about while they are separated from their wives? I will try to answer these questions as best as I can in the following article.
Many Men Have Very Mixed And Conflicting Thoughts During Separation (Especially At First). Obviously, I am not a man who is going through a separation. But I dialogue with many of them regularly. And many share a host of varied and conflicting sentiments. One day, they may miss their wife and wonder if maybe they should come home and do whatever they can to save their marriage. And then the next day, they may really enjoy feeling single or feel overwhelmed by all their marital problems. So some of them are telling you the truth when they admit that their feelings can swing from one extreme to the other.
To be honest, these wavering feelings are sometimes nothing new. In fact, many men want separation as a way to resolve these fluctuating feelings. The hope is that once they have distanced themselves from their wife and her marriage, it will be easier for them to know which feelings are the most sincere and frequent. This does not always become obvious at the beginning of the process. Many men feel very guilty about leaving and many find that they miss their wives more than they suspected they would.
On the other side of the coin, some men find that they like the single life. This may be particularly true if your marriage was volatile where there was always a lot of conflict or fighting. Sometimes, once they have some peace and quiet, they find they like it and begin to lean towards making the separation more permanent or consider seeking a divorce. In addition, some spouses meet someone else during their separation, and some may find it easier to start over with someone new than to revive a marriage that could be damaged beyond repair.
Of course, I have no way of knowing what your own husband is thinking at the moment. It may fall into any of these categories or neither. It may even be somewhere in the middle. Sometimes she will give you little tips along the way. And other times, he may contradict himself, which I’ll talk about now.
Tips for deciphering your husband’s clues about what he might be thinking during the separation: As I mentioned, it’s important to understand that your husband could be experiencing many different types of feelings. That’s why she might be getting some mixed signals. In general, though, if he’s receptive to seeing you regularly and things are going well when you’re together, then you can be reasonably sure that his thoughts about you or the marriage are positive. But if he’s putting off spending time with you or always seems to be making excuses to avoid you, then chances are there are some negative thoughts or doubts on his mind. And, if he’s seeing a combination of the two (which isn’t uncommon), then he’s probably experiencing those fluctuating feelings we’ve been talking about.
Ideas to try to make sure your feelings are as positive as possible during your separation: You cannot control your husband’s thoughts and feelings. But you can try to set it up so that you have the best chance of him thinking positively of you. Every time you talk to each other or are together, try to be as cheerful as possible. Try to make sure that your time together is enjoyable for both of you. And, this could include not leaning on him about his feelings. If he wants to share them, great. But if he resists doing it, don’t push him too hard because if he does, he may hesitate to spend time with you as often. By being approachable and agreeable, you decrease the chances that their feelings will be negative and increase the chances that they will be positive.
So to answer the question posed, men have different feelings while apart from you. But it’s in your best interest to try to establish circumstances that encourage positive thoughts and experiences. It’s in your best interest to worry more about establishing positive circumstances and interactions rather than keep pushing or questioning him about feelings that you can change anyway.