Tuning in to your hunger cues: Are you eating to fill a nook or a cavern?
One of the biggest challenges many American women face is knowing when to finish a meal. Pop quiz.
When you eat, how do you know when to stop?
a) when your plate is clean
b) after everyone has finished eating
c) when the food is finished
d) when full
If you answered, d) when you’re full, you’re right. You are probably at a healthy weight and are effortlessly maintaining it because you can eat until your physical hunger is satisfied. But many people who struggle with their weight don’t have a strong connection to their bodies, so they can’t stop eating until they reach the point of being full. Here are some tips to help you know when to stop eating.
Internal vs. External Signals
Last year, Cornell University researchers studied groups of people in the US and France to understand how they knew when to stop eating. They found that those who relied on external cues (external cues like a clean plate, an empty box or carton, or the end of a TV show) were heavier because they ate more food.
Sometimes it’s heartbreaking to have to put down your fork. It is not like this?
You identify? If you understand what I mean, then you know what it’s like to be so disconnected from your body that you just don’t feel satisfied after the meal is over. You may feel compelled to eat more than your belly can comfortably hold, which really isn’t much. It’s a well-known fact that your stomach is the size of your clenched fist, somewhere around a 2-cup capacity.
Despite what you’ve been told, eating past that point doesn’t mean you’re a pig or lacking in self-control, and you’re definitely not alone. Here’s a story of mine sharing a discovery I made that can help you stop crying after meals.
Feeling the pain of finishing a meal
Before making the decision to stop dieting, it was nearly impossible for me to bring myself to finish a meal. I felt that each meal would be my last and I was always worried that I would not have enough food, so I kept eating. It didn’t matter what he ate, as long as he was chewing. I justified that the reason was that I was still hungry, but now I know that it wasn’t physical hunger that made me hungry. It was my frayed emotions, my level of exhaustion, an overloaded schedule, and my inability to say “No” to people that kept me eating to fill what I used to call “my bottomless pit.” If you can relate to eating just because food is present…then I’d like to share this idea with you.
Eat to fill a corner
One morning, as I sat down to breakfast around 7:30am, ready to enjoy half a margarine cinnamon raisin muffin along with a nice steaming hot cup of lemon-sugar mint tea, I thought of something I learned many years ago.
In the past, when he lived in one of the apartment buildings he managed, he used to be a neighbor of a French woman named “Princess D’Or”. Princess and I often spent time together. One day she invited me over for a delicious dinner of roast duck stuffed with wild rice, roast potatoes and apricot glaze. She used to put the potatoes under the duck so they would soak up all the fat and juices while the duck was roasting.
At the time, I was a huge fan of duck and helped myself to a monster portion. He put a small amount on his plate. As we ate and talked, I watched her curiously as she took the food from her and ate small pieces. It seemed to me that she was intensely concentrating on what she was eating. Curious and wanting to know more, I asked her what she was doing.
She told me that as she usually does this meal, she only wanted to eat enough to fill a small corner of her belly. When we got up from eating, I could tell from the sensations in my body that I had really overdone it, and as my Nana used to say, “she was eating with my eyes and ignoring my stomach.” I was dizzy and felt pretty bad. I knew I had to excuse myself to go next door to take a nap in my apartment. She, on the other hand, was excited and full of energy and couldn’t wait to finish a piece of art that she was painting. After thanking her for the delicious food, we said goodbye to her and went our separate ways.
As those memories whirled through my head, I looked at the bagel in my hand, noticing that there was a lone little raisin in what was supposed to be a cinnamon raisin bagel, which had absolutely no cinnamon flavor at all. I cut about 1/3 of the bagel off the 1/2 and proceeded to spread it with margarine. I took a bite and noticed that it had almost no flavor. I then took another bite and noticed that my observation was the same, yuck! no taste. So I left the rest of the bagel 1/2 on the counter and made a mental note to toss it to the birds later. I decided to have my mint tea upstairs and share my observations with you.
Today I really understand what Princess meant by eating to fill a corner. Just that couple of bites of savoring that disgusting ‘raisin’ bagel was enough to take away my hunger, which was strong enough to keep me from concentrating on what I was writing. So I knew I was hungry, but unlike that night when I became one with Princess’s duck, I didn’t want that feeling of being too full and unproductive. Then when I’m hungry, whatever it is, I’ll probably make myself a couple of lightly scrambled eggs, because I know I don’t have to limit myself to 3 squares a day. I can eat anything and whenever I want.
And you? Are you eating to fill a corner or a cave? Do you know in advance how much you want to eat and, if you do, what helps you decide?
It is very important to learn to pay attention to how your body feels and what you need/want. By doing that, you will feel so good and you can eat whatever you want.
Even on weekend mornings, when most dieters plan to overeat, I don’t tend to eat a big breakfast. If on the rare occasions I do, then I won’t eat until dinner time. It is not a matter of depriving myself. It’s just that my stomach isn’t comfortable feeling that full anymore and when I feel too full, I’ll wait until I’m good and ready to eat. It may or may not be the next meal.
Perhaps you are not aware of the feeling in your stomach. You’re not alone. Here are some tips to help you know when to stop eating:
Maximum Satisfaction: Living in the land of butter, cream, cheese, bread and wine, the French are no strangers to the idea of getting the most satisfaction out of their food. There dieting is considered a dirty word, because they are not afraid of fats and richer foods. Because your heavier meals are more satisfying and calorie dense, it’s easier for their stomachs to register satisfaction because fat is more satisfying and stays in the body longer. The French are used to tuning in to the feel of their bodies for when to finish their meals, eating only until they feel full and no more.
Savor every dick: Romantic French people have a similar attitude towards food as they do towards love. Savor the moment. When you eat your next meal, pay close attention to the flavors, richness, aroma, and texture of your food.
Hari Hachi Bunme: The Japanese also rely on internal cues to guide them when to stop eating. They have a saying that recommends “Hara hachi bunme”, which means “Eat until you are 80 percent full”. Like the French, the Japanese also eat slowly, enjoy their food for its flavor, and eat much smaller portions than Americans.
But you may still have trouble knowing when to stop. Here’s a little more help:
Most of the time we are simply not aware of how our body feels unless we are told to pay attention. So, for example, you may not have noticed the feeling in your knee until something reminds you to think about your knees.
Find a quiet place where you can sit alone for a few moments. Put your hand on your stomach and close your eyes, tilting your eyes towards your stomach. Just to remind you: her stomach is at the top of her belly below her ribcage. See how he feels now.
did you just eat? Is your last meal spilling out there? Does your belly feel at peace or does it hurt? If your body could speak, what would it say?
Every time you sit down to eat, let your body tell you what’s best for you. What is your plan today? Will you eat to fill a corner or a cave? And if you are eating to fill a cave, what part of you feels empty?
If you’d like more help reconnecting with your body or to talk about other types of emotional eating challenges you may be facing, I’d like to invite you to join my Juicy Woman Yahoo group. In that discussion forum, you’ll learn tips and strategies, all geared toward helping you make peace with food and be friends with your body.