The value of the loss
We live in an age of efficiency and time constraints. Everything we do has to be fast and with incredible precision. There seems to be no room for mistakes or for a person who slows down in maturity. It seems as if we live in a society that wants to treasure the young and devalue the old.
The ability to live in such a fast-paced world demands a lot from us as we age. We try to run with the pack like a pack of wolves until we can’t take another step. A world that no longer values maturity is a world that is heading towards a life full of meaninglessness. The experience brings to life the role of a teacher. A person capable of expressing and materializing the reasons why we do what we do.
Hospice has taught me a lot about loss over the years. Dying people slow my pace down a lot over the course of the day. A large part of my mind is on meeting the deadlines and schedules that my company requires me to be able to visit everyone who needs me in a given week. At the same time, my hospice patients demand that I slow down and be attentive to even the smallest needs. These are only some of them.
1. Listen to your story.
Even if you hear the same old story day after day, or if a story is told with memory lapses. Your ability to keep your attention on what gives meaning to a dying patient is a form of caring. It is an incredible opportunity for two hearts to commit themselves in unconditional love. This move toward unconditional love involves a deliberate attempt on your part to expand your heart and give space to someone who others may be devaluing because he or she is no longer a productive member of society. Here, you become a communication bridge between the divine and human qualities of mindfulness that brings healing to a world that no longer values mindful awareness.
2. Give space to Creative Imagination.
Giving space for creative imagination to emerge in a relationship is like opening a door to heaven. Creative imagination is the insight into a person’s mind and heart. When your mind and heart come together to create a path, your soul is engaged. Soul Care is the essence of why each of us is here. We all want to be known as we are truly known in this world. Such vulnerability is not as defenseless as the world has made it out to be. Being known for who you are without judging yourself or others is a path to bravery. The ability to share a part of who you are on this level indicates a person’s ability to trust the world in ways familiar to us as children. It was the time in your life when you engaged with the world in the game and not in the stress.
3. Appreciate the silence.
Its ability to calm the mind and heart so that it can match the rhythm of a dying loved one is a gift. Open your thoughtful nature and create a pathway to a place your soul calls home. The ability to keep your attention on the needs of another over your own opens the door to your empathic nature. All of us have the ability to be “in tune” with another person when we realize that another person’s needs are important. The heart begins to open and a channel of expression begins to emerge. Your feelings begin to appreciate the needs of the other in a moment of silence where feelings of conscience unite you in peace.
4. Let go.
Letting go of your needs and the needs of a dying patient to hold on to a world that no longer values loss opens a path to the divine qualities of existence that only your soul can embrace. This passage to a sense of meaning beyond this life gives hope to the aging and faith to the dying. Those of us who care for the dying find meaning in loss of life through a constant reminder of the value our patients instill in us as they become more soul than body at the end of their lives.
5. Duel.
Loss opens a place within us that guides our hearts and minds to a place where we remember who we really are. We realize that our life will one day come to an end. It challenges us to grow into a thoughtful lifestyle where we do good things for God’s sake and no longer do things to boost our egos. Knowing that your life will one day come to an end brings life to your soul and a new beginning for most people to discover for the first time in their life what is really important.
This journey to realize that the things in life that really matter are the things in life that don’t matter is a place of awareness where we understand the meaning of loss. Valuing loss in our society gives appreciation for what has gone before us and who made our lives possible. Paying attention to the value that loss brings allows us to balance our lives in ways we might not try other than a reason to.
Loss creates space in our world by paying homage to the value that our history brings to the present moment. Without such honor accorded to these moments of time that our life has created is a life lived without appreciation for what brought each of us together, what we call the human race. Such a devaluation of human expression also leaves no real hope for those who create our future. Because a life lived without remembering what has sustained your life is a life no longer infused with the spirit that brings all life into being. A life without spirit inspires nothing. Having nothing to live for is a sad place to be within yourself and the purpose for living no longer remains alive and well. Without a reason to live, all life ceases to be.