The role of food in your social life

The words, ‘would you like to come over for dinner?’ it can be enough to cause apprehension in even the most confident of us. What will we wear, who else might be there, if we take something with us, will we be able to eat what’s on offer, what if something looks too horrible to eat!

I’m sure we’ve all been there, going over these questions before going to someone’s house. And if it’s a dinner arrangement, we can add questions about how to pay the bill, who drinks alcohol and who doesn’t, how formal it will be.

A lovely invitation to a relaxing meal can suddenly be overshadowed by a plethora of “what if” thoughts running through our minds. Fear of appearing stupid, inexperienced, picky eater can make us wonder if we should move on.

Of course, all of these concerns may depend on the circumstances of the invitation, on how well we know the person or persons involved. Is it a group invitation with colleagues, friends or family or is it something more formal, perhaps accompanying our partner to a business event? Is it a first date, the early stages of a new relationship, or something more lasting?

And then, of course, there is the other role of food in your social life, the invitation to dinner! What does that invitation mean? Is it going to be a light snack or something more substantial? Preparing your response ahead of time so that it is appropriately kind and appreciative of whatever is being served is an important social skill.

Random social events and food are a potential minefield. I remember supermodel Jerry Hall saying that she always ate dinner before going to a reception to avoid being tempted by high-calorie snacks that never fill you up. You never know what you’re going to find at buffets and canapé events! And then there is the danger of eating with your fingers, juggling a drink, a small plate, all while having a conversation or perhaps wanting to say hi to someone or shake their hand!

Let’s not forget the food watchers who keep tabs on what everyone eats. They know who is on a diet, who should be on a diet! We dare to eat something too rich, or to have a dessert! Dare we risk raised eyebrows when ordering a creamy pasta sauce or sticky toffee pudding for dessert?

And allergies! Doesn’t just about everyone have special dietary requirements these days, ranging from food intolerances to extensive lists of what they will and won’t eat? The various requirements of a larger group often warrant eating out and choosing a place with a full menu that accommodates everyone.

Money can be another hot potato. The invoice! Should it be distributed equally among all diners? But what about the people who barely ate and those who had several dishes or expensive options? Some people may have wanted to be social and participate, but can’t afford to spend a lot. Should they subsidize others? What about wine drinkers and drivers who don’t drink? Is it a first date, and if so, does the man have to pay, or would that cause awkwardness or embarrassment?

With that being said, eating socially is a great way to relax and reconnect with old friends and make new ones. Taking time out over a meal is fun and one of the best ways to spend a quiet afternoon or evening. Many restaurants now cater for family parties and it is a delight to see several generations sitting together over Sunday lunch, chatting and taking their time.

Home entertainment can be an easy way to share time together, especially if multiple people have young children and don’t want the potential stress of dining out. One suggestion might be to have everyone contribute a plate, thus spreading the burden in terms of cost and effort. Barbecues and picnics can also become important during the summer months and are a fun outdoor way to enjoy food and socialize.

Safari dinners are also a good idea, where residents of a street or community plan to have a dish at each house and then travel to the next overnight. Introduce a topic and you may end up with an unexpectedly fun moment!

We all have to eat, so let’s make the most of these opportunities to really enjoy the role of food in our social lives.