The black widow complex
Letrodectus or black widow spiders are typically known to kill and eat the male after mating. This well-known little black creature couldn’t better embody the concept of the man-eating woman.
Most of you know what I am talking about here. Either you meet a woman, you have dated one, you have seen her on television or you are one yourself …
I am not suggesting that ALL Black Widows are male to male female; taking them off other women and / or using and abusing them. I mean simply the female version of the “bad boy.”
Somehow, we (and I say we, because I belong to this category), have developed a talent to guide men like little puppies on a leash or to scare them completely in the first place. (I personally fall into the latter category. I can barely hold them close long enough to attach the leash to their collar).
Black Widows are strong, confident women who wear their sexuality on their sleeve. (I should have a row of Oscar trophies for my ability to act like I don’t care less if men call.) Following women who have read “The Rules” is certainly NOT an option.
When it comes to dating, there is no need for general fairness and rules to apply. Only the strong survive … and the weak are eaten (or rejected, or never called again …).
According to “The MANual”, Steven Santagati states that these characteristics separate “Black Widows” from the rest of the female population:
• They have no problem pushing men away
• They know how men think
• They dress in a way that leaves their victims defenseless.
• They communicate with their eyes as much as they do with their bodies, and generally back their gazes with a knowing smile.
• They are blatantly sexy
The problem is: when does trust equate to attractiveness and when does trust equate to intimidation?
Roles have started to reverse for both men and women when it comes to dating. More and more women are coming up and asking to go out. Why sit and wait for the man to come up to you? While you’re sitting there on your ass, a bolder woman may be hooking your man!
As I mentioned earlier … my “black widowhood” typically has more fear of men, rather than my ability to “chew and spit” them so to speak. Why do men (most) say they are attracted to smart, daring and confident women, but when it comes down to it, they can’t deal with it?
Any combination of these traits spins the web of the “Black Widow”. Confidence sure is sexy. Confidence can get you what you want and prevent you from becoming weak. Having the aforementioned characteristics of a Black Widow is sexy. Confidence is not bad. Abrasiveness is not a whore.
Besides, you don’t care what people call you, do you?