I may be a knucklehead but I’m not crazy

No one is perfect, except maybe the Gracious Mistress of the parsonage comes close.

I have never caught her in any blemish, or if I had, no one would know for me.

Today there is such an obsession with people being perfect. And of course their definition of perfect is what they are. They judge everyone for themselves, which is crazy in itself.

Often my wife catches me on something and says, “Are you acting like a knucklehead?”

If only he knew he wasn’t acting. The simple fact is that I don’t know everything I’m supposed to know. I don’t know what I’m not supposed to know. He gets pretty confused after a while, and slides into the knuckle area.

When it comes to fixing things, I’m the classic knucklehead. If something is broken, I can make it more broken in just a few minutes.

If the Gracious Master of the Parsonage sees something broken, she can fix it in no time. I married her because of that sparkle in her eye. At that time I didn’t know what it really meant.

On one occasion, I was with her when she took her van to the repair shop. It is the most pleasant experience you could have.

When the repairman sees my wife come in, he thinks she’s just a woman. Wow, she’s in for a surprise.

She takes the repairman to her vehicle and explains, in detail, what is wrong with the vehicle and how to fix it.

She will tell you, “I can fix it; I just don’t have time today.”

He will look at her; rubbing his chin as he looks at me. Then he will explain to my wife what needs to be done and how she is going to do it.

wrong step

Once again, she will tell you exactly what is wrong and exactly what you need to do to fix it. Then she will say: “If it doesn’t get fixed like I told you, I’m not going to pay you.”

Fortunately, for him, he arranges it exactly how she wants it. Another life saved.

Where he got all that knowledge about a vehicle, I don’t know. I never question; I always accompany. After all, she has saved me a lot of money by fixing things herself.

Once there was something wrong with our air conditioner, and the repairman came to fix it. Once again, she told him exactly what was wrong with him.

Then he walked away. In a few moments, she came back and said, “I’m going to have to go to my garage and get a tool that I need to fix this.”

She looked at him and said, “What tool do you need?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t know what that is. It’s something special to my job.”

“Tell me what it is, maybe I have it.”

He laughed a hearty laugh and then told him the tool he needs.

“I have that tool. Let me go to my garage to get it and I’ll bring it to you, and you won’t have to leave; you can fix it right away.”

He looked at her, rubbed his chin, looked at me, then took the tool she brought him. He walked over to where she was doing her repair work, shaking his head each step of the way.

When it comes to a job like this, I’m a professional idiot for sure. It wouldn’t tell one tool from another, which can get me into trouble.

We are approaching the 50th anniversary of our wedding. I have yet to find anything she can’t fix. And believe me, I have broken many things throughout our lives.

One time, the front bumper of my truck was cracked and sagging. I told my wife I’d take it to the repair shop to get it fixed.

“No,” he said as he walked back to the house, “let me fix it for you.”

Well, within minutes, she came out with several very large paper clips, and within moments, she had the bumper hooked to the truck.

“There,” he said, “it’s fixed; you don’t have to take it to the repair shop.”

I left with great enthusiasm, knowing that the paperclips did not solve the problem, but I did not want to say it in front of her. I thought I’d play the game until the clips fell off.

That was three years ago, and they are still in place.

I still don’t know how that works. But, as a knucklehead, I’m not going to chase him down and end up in a swamp of madness. If it works, it works.

The other week I tripped and fell and luckily didn’t break any bones. My fear is that if I break my arm, he’ll want to fix it right away. I’m not saying she can’t fix it, but I don’t want to go there.

Maybe that’s why our marriage is so good. He has fixed everything that was broken, and I think he has done most of it behind my back.

As I thought about this, I was reminded of one of my favorite Bible verses. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).

“Walking together in agreement” is probably the most wonderful thing about a marriage.