Father’s Wounds: Can a Man Have a Hard Time Being Activated if He Had an Abusive Father?

Although a man will have both a masculine and a feminine element within him, he may find it difficult to connect with the former. Consequently, it will be difficult for him to express himself and act.

From the outside, it probably looks like you have the ability to do both, but this won’t be something you can relate to. Now, this does not mean that he will always sit back and do very little.

A friendly hand

However, if he does do something, it could usually be because someone else has given him a little push. This could mean that he has literally been pushed or it could show that when pushed, he feels the need to do something.

Therefore, you will rarely be in a position where you feel the need to do something and then do it. What you will feel comfortable with is waiting and not expressing your true self.

an analogy

One way to get an idea of ​​what it’s like for him would be for someone to imagine a car without an engine. In order for this car to go anywhere, it will need to be pushed by others or the environment changes, the ground sinks, for example, and the car ends up moving on its own.

Without this engine, it won’t matter where the driver wants to go, as the car won’t have the power it needs to move. The driver represents the true self of him; this is where his true needs and feelings will be located.

endless frustration

In general, the man may find that he is rarely in touch with his true needs and feelings. However, even if he is in contact with these items, he won’t have the drive it takes to constantly care for them.

The normal thing, then, is that he ignores what happens inside him, as it will be a way to avoid the pain of not being able to act and satisfy his needs. However, when this is not the case and you are in touch with what is going on inside your body, you can feel angry, helpless, and hopeless.

a miserable existence

Perhaps, there was a time when living life this way wasn’t as bad as it is now, allowing him to simply tolerate what was going on. Accepting what other people wanted and being a “follower” instead of a “leader” might not have really fazed them.

But, as time has passed and anger and frustration have built up within him, he may no longer be able to experience life in this way. Instead of needing someone or something else to make him move, he will want to be the one to decide to act.

Pressing the Button

He will want to feel the fire within him and allow this inner fire to propel him into action so that he can express himself freely. Needing another person to push you or do something out of fear is no longer going to attract you.

You will want your energy source to be activated, as this will allow you to not only look like an individual but act like one. Right now, this might seem like nothing more than a pipe dream.

a strange scene

The truth is that he has fire inside of him but, for some reason, he doesn’t have access to that fire. He may discover that he has been passive and has found it difficult to take action for as long as he can remember.

If you were to look back on your life, you could see that you’ve always needed other people to get the ball rolling, so to speak, and that it’s like there’s something missing. Often, he may turn back on himself, believing that there is something inherently wrong with him and that he is weak and incapable.

What is happening?

What this may illustrate is that his early years were very traumatic and this caused him to separate from his aggressive/fighting instinct. This may have been a time when his father physically abused him.

At this stage of this life, he would not have been able to flee or defend himself; disconnecting from himself was his only option. This would have alienated him from his feelings and needs and from his inner fire.

a destructive expression

His father, by expressing his inner fire in a destructive way, would have made him disconnect from his. By being damaged weekly, if not daily, his masculinity would have been stripped from him.

The part of him that would allow him to activate himself will have been pushed deep inside him and is likely to have a lot of pent up anger, murderous rage and hate. He may also fear that if he were to embrace this side of him, his so-called “dark side” of him, he would end up causing harm just like his father.
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Conscience

All things considered, for him to come out of his frozen and fearful state, he will need to resolve the trauma that is within him and develop a new relationship with his masculinity. If he is ready to take this step, it is something that can be done with the help of a therapist or healer.