“Can you repeat that?” – 6 tips to reduce our frustration with accents

I recently found myself on the phone for over 55 minutes dealing with “customer service” for a problem with a product I purchased. During this frustrating period, I spoke to two different agents, both of whom spoke with accents, which made it difficult for me to understand what they were saying. As the conversation progressed, I often found myself asking the agent to repeat what I had just said, reminding myself that my Boston accent was probably not an easy task for him to decipher either. Now, for those of you who have spent time trying to get help from a real human being over the phone, it can be a lesson in patience and persistence.

By the time you’ve actually connected with someone, you’re already upset that you’ve pressed forty-three buttons only to be put on hold for what seems like forever. When you can finally talk to a human, the last thing you want is to let them go and start the whole process all over again. With this in mind, the agent and I managed for as long as we could. In the end I asked to speak to another agent and was connected to a person with a similar accent to the person I had just spoken to. Either he was experiencing karmic retribution, or there was a strong possibility that the call center was in another country.

Later, I reflected on what had happened, am I a racist because I was frustrated that I couldn’t understand the agent and asked to be transferred to someone else? Would others judge me as racist or ethnocentric? Or, is it okay to be frustrated and not have to make it bigger than that?

Not understanding someone’s accent does not make you racist. Yet too often our frustration with other people’s accents gives way to racial or ethnic stereotypes that reveal racist attitudes and beliefs. Statements like, “If they’re going to live here, they should learn the language,” or “They should go back to their own country” are comments expressed out of frustration but have racial undertones. Two thoughts on these comments.

First, it is always helpful for people residing in the United States to learn English. However, this does not happen overnight and even when they learn English, they will still speak with an accent. The irony is that many Americans can only speak one language and people who are ridiculously often multilingual. However, the underlying racial/ethnic assumption is that they must be stupid because they can’t speak English or they speak with an accent. Second, with the exception of Native Americans, we are a nation of immigrants. At some point some other group was directing that same statement to your ethnic or racial group. Here are six helpful guidelines to keep in mind when talking to people whose accent is different from yours.

1. REMEMBER WE ALL HAVE ACCENTS. Who has an accent is relative depending on who is speaking, with whom and where. Accents are not limited to people from other countries. Even here in the United States there are very clear geographic accents. For example, when I conduct public speaking seminars, once I travel outside of Massachusetts, I’m the one who has the accent. People say they love my Boston accent and ask me to say, “I parked my car in the Harvard yard.” I’m asking this a lot because saying those words magnifies my accent. I always find this annoying. However, they find it funny.

I find it strange that some accents are more attractive than others. Many Anglo-Americans tend to enjoy listening to people with British and French accents and are generally bothered by Spanish and Indian accents. I’m not sure if there’s a correlation between the accents we consider acceptable and race, but it’s a good question. Also, the more you involve the person, the more you become familiar with their accent and the easier it is to understand what the other is saying. However, many of us tend to avoid people whose accent is difficult for us to understand. Maybe it’s awkward for us or takes too much time and energy, so it’s easier to avoid interacting. Therefore, we do not create the time necessary to forge a meaningful exchange.

2. BE PATIENT. Both people involved in the conversation want to have a successful exchange. It is okay if you let them know that you are having difficulty understanding them and I would appreciate it if they could repeat them so that you understand them better. If you experience frustration, take a deep breath to calm yourself down. It is important to make the distinction between being frustrated with the situation and being frustrated with the person.

3. CREATE A CLIMATE OF MUTUAL RESPECT. Assessing someone’s intention and attitude happens very quickly. Taking the time and effort to create a comfortable and respectable climate will make connection less challenging. Kindness is always appreciated.

4. AVOID LANGUAGE. Americans have a love affair with slang and use it more than we realize. For people whose native language is not English, this can add to your confusion. If you use slang, explain it to the other person as it will increase your proficiency in speaking English.

5. SPEAK SLOWER, NOT LOUDER. Sometimes our frustration can cause us to talk much louder than our usual level of conversation. This will not make the person understand you any better, in fact, it can be annoying. People who speak multiple languages ​​need time to translate the conversation they have with you in English into their native language. Speaking slower gives them time for this transition.

6. LEARN HIS NAME. The most important word for each person, regardless of their language, is their name. However, one of the most challenging parts of communicating between accents is pronouncing names. Both people involved in the conversation may have names that are not common in the other person’s culture. As a result, many of us pretend to understand by nodding our heads, but never use their first name again and use the default setting of “Hello, how are you doing?” At this point, we can assign them a nickname for our convenience.

Learning people’s names is vitally important. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask them to repeat your name, but remember that they’ll probably ask you for it quite often, so if you notice any frustration, be patient. You can even ask them to spell it out if it’s a suitable setup to have for future reference. Personally, I write the name as I hear it phonetically.

Today’s global economy makes us interact and do business with people from all over the world. We often find ourselves interacting with people whose first language is not English and our communication and interpersonal skills can be put to the test. It is beneficial for us to hone our skills in order to have successful interactions both personally and professionally.