Apologize when we hurt our friends or associates
In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Sometimes we are the ones who hurt another person we care about; sometimes we are the ones who have been hurt.
Sometimes both people have been very angry with each other, or both feel hurt. Hurt feelings may be the result of a slip of the tongue, a misunderstanding, or an action committed with poor judgment. Sometimes feelings are deliberately hurt in the heat of anger and later regretted.
If we were to blame, we might regret what we said the instant we let the hurtful comment out of our mouth. We may want to apologize right away, but some of us find it extremely difficult, almost impossible, to apologize for anything.
Sometimes the reason we don’t apologize is because we’re convinced that the other person totally deserves our angry outburst. Sometimes the reason we don’t apologize is because we have no idea that we hurt the other person. And sometimes we apologize profusely, but we don’t really mean it.
When you sincerely apologize to a friend, it means that you regret causing the other person emotional pain and want to work to repair the friendship.
If you have said or done something that hurt your friend or partner, it is important to acknowledge your loved one’s painful emotions. You can say something like, “I’m really sorry you felt hurt by what I said. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Let’s talk about what happened.”
In some relationships, hurt feelings and problems are never dealt with. Instead, they are “swept under the rug.” These relationships may appear polite on the surface and may even be long-lasting, but they are actually not very close. There is no deep exchange between the two people, and there is no ability to be honest.
If one or both of you is feeling very angry with the other, postpone the discussion in depth until you are both calm and sensible. But sincerely apologize to your friend as soon as you can.
Once an apology for a particular incident has been extended and accepted, don’t go back and revisit old battles the next time you have a disagreement. Deal with each incident as it arises and don’t nurse old resentments.