Orgasm is a response to stimuli of an erotic nature
We can experience a peak of sensation for several reasons. For example, someone might tickle our feet, knees, or under the armpit. We can get to a point where we’ve had enough and don’t want any more stimulation. That feeling is not an orgasm. First of all, the sexual organ is not involved, but there is also no mental commitment to eroticism. The viewer usually assumes the female orgasm only because the stimulation ceases.
Arousal is a psychological response triggered by the mind. Orgasm is a response to erotic stimuli of a psychological nature. These stimuli can be visual or imaginary, but they are explicit images or erotic concepts related to the genitals and, generally, to penetrative sex. Orgasm can be reliably achieved because a person learns what erotic stimuli make them reach orgasm.
Some women believe that they have an orgasm alone or with a lover, but without using any kind of fantasy. They believe that it is possible to reach orgasm simply by using physical stimulation alone. There is a good reason why women can think this way. When you watch a man intend to have an orgasm, all you see is the physical stimulation involved. They have no idea what is going on inside their head. Men need an erotic mental stimulus to reach orgasm.
The female orgasm is often defined in emotional terms. However, the implication is that women are capable of having the same sexual response as men. It is to be expected that true female orgasms have characteristics in common with the male experience. The male orgasm involves the sexual organ and the excitement. Orgasm involves genital secretions from the cervical and male glands, tumescence (increased blood flow throughout the body and sexual organ), rhythmic pelvic thrusts, muscle contractions, and an abrupt release of nerve energy.
The sensation of blood flowing to the genitals makes us instinctively place our hands on our sexual organ. We need very specific stimulation of the sexual organ to achieve orgasm combined with a focus on erotic stimuli. As children we learn that it is not socially acceptable to put our hands near our genitals. Women are offended by any suggestion of genital arousal or stimulation because the male sex drive causes men to tease women for having sex
A receptive woman may enjoy resting her hands on her vulva before going to sleep. You can also rest your hands on your vulva when you relax on your own. There is no feeling of arousal or tumescence, but simply a feeling of comfort. She only does this in private due to the taboo of touching her groin in public (which is again offensive to women due to male sexual desire). Men can also enjoy resting a hand on their penis even when they are flaccid.
If men want women to have a positive attitude towards eroticism or to be willing to engage in more adventurous sex games, so-called female orgasms that arise without women engaging in erotic concepts of any kind will not help much. It is the positive response of the mind to sexual scenarios that makes someone identify with eroticism. Our ability to respond to eroticism is what motivates us to engage in sexual activity. The pleasure of orgasm is the mental arousal that causes pelvic contractions.
Orgasm is an instinctive response. That means that even when we have no prior knowledge or experience of orgasm, we can still discover it. It has to be that way because otherwise the human race (and other animals) would not exist. We haven’t always had books or even word of mouth to tell us about intercourse and masturbation. But there is no instinct to buy a vibrator and use it to stimulate yourself. This is conscious behavior motivated by the advertising slogans of sex toy companies.
Sexual arousal occurs when the mind responds to erotic images or concepts. The mind then acts on the body producing observable evidence of arousal in the form of tumescence (increased blood flow to the genitals). A man is naturally motivated to explore a woman’s body because it turns him on. This means that even in the absence of all knowledge about sexual intercourse, he would eventually find out. A woman has no motivation to explore a lover’s body because she is not turned on by erotic stimuli in the real world.
Reproduction relies on women giving men the opportunity to have sex rather than concentrating on achieving their own orgasm. So sexual activity with a lover has a more social than erotic context for women. Only when a woman is alone can the much weaker sensations of female arousal cause a receptive woman to explore her own body’s responsiveness. Compared to acute arousal in men, women feel much more diffuse feelings of mild arousal. However, these sensations, strong or weak, draw our attention to the sexual organ. The female orgasm is based on the use of considerable concentration on fantasy.
The aspects of control and domination, as well as the way a man could negotiate his own pleasure, are central to arousal. We use BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, Sadism & Masochism) for arousal because it involves delighting in control of others (of doing something to someone else). BDSM can be helpful for arousal, but it doesn’t cause orgasms. Much more explicit genital concepts are required for orgasm.
Most men … are definitely turned on by seeing things associated with sex, and most women are not that turned on. (Alfred Kinsey 1948)