Ways to help troubled teens
The next time you’re walking down the street, try not to ignore making eye contact with that scary-looking teen. Yes, his pants are sagging below his knees. Yes, his hair could be shaggy. Why he has that nose piercing, only he knows. Look. Look him in the eye for a minute. You can probably see that coldness. You can see that something is missing. He has a yearning for something, a relationship maybe? Someone to trust? Someone to trust? A true friend? a mentor? Just a shoulder to lean on or an ear to talk to, maybe?
Teenagers struggle to have the right image. They want to be in control of their lives, they want to make their own decisions, they want to be invincible, but most of all they want to be accepted.
Raising children with these ideals can be quite difficult. Obviously, a fourteen-year-old boy cannot be in control of his own life. He can’t be allowed to go out at all hours of the night, he can’t engage in sexual activities, he can’t get involved in gangs, he can’t smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol. It would be foolish for a parent to allow a teenager to be in control of his or her own life.
However, it is possible for a parent to help their teen learn to make their own decisions. Not only will this help prepare them for adulthood, but it will make them feel less like a little boy and more like a grown man. It is important to allow our teens some room to grow. The types of choices teens should be allowed to make include, but are not limited to, the following: Their career goals, whether or not to seek employment while in school, what leisure activities to participate in, whether or not to have an account bank account, whether or not to obtain a learner’s permit/driver’s license, what volunteer opportunities to participate in, etc.
As for guys being invincible, you can laugh if you want, but if you’ve been with a lot of teenagers you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. As the founder of a ranch for troubled teens, I frequently speak with parents who would use that adjective as one of many adjectives to describe their children. When children reach this state of mind, others may be in danger. Sometimes children feel that they are too old or too big to be disciplined. They feel like they can stay out all night and no one will hurt them. They feel that they can say or do anything to whomever they want and no one will stop them.
It is essential that parents spend as much time as possible with their teenagers. During your interactions, you need to talk to them about the hard life lessons they had to learn as teenagers or that others they know may have had to learn the hard way. When a child refuses to heed the warnings he has been given and lashes out at family members and ignores the rules, refuses to go to school, puts others in danger, etc., then the parent has no no choice but to discipline, regardless of the boy’s feelings about that discipline.
Most of the students referred to our boarding school for children at risk are referred after their parents have already tried secular counseling programs, mind-altering drugs, intervention by school personnel, sometimes even psychiatric hospitalizations, all of which did not help. to his son. absolutely. Often times, what we learn soon after talking with parents or after enrolling children that parents have trouble controlling is that at some point the parents developed a fear of disciplining their child, whether that fear was a fear of the child. / adolescent hurting them, the fear of getting into legal trouble for disciplining, or the fear of what others would say about them varies from case to case. However, adolescents who are not disciplined for a prolonged period of time will develop behavior problems that are out of control and if the parents do not seek help at that time, the child may end up in jail or worse, without the parents knowing. have nothing to say. so on the matter.
My advice to parents of troubled teens is this: 1) Spend as much time as you can with them, even when you don’t want to or they don’t want you to; 2) give them space to make some decisions for their lives (safe decisions); 3) praise your child as often as possible; 4) discipline your child when necessary and be consistent with the form of discipline you choose to use; and 5) get him to use as much of his God-given energy as possible, whether that’s having him play sports, help take care of the lawn, the animals, or work on other tasks, engage in a daily exercise routine. , etc., but don’t let him spend all his free time sitting, watching TV, listening to music, or talking/texting on his cell phone. That will allow her energy level to build up and eventually release it, in ways that are not manageable.