There’s a reason you attract people who abandon and betray you over and over again.

Rejection and betrayal are very common themes in the dating scene. But what do many men and women do when someone breaks up with them? They obsess, beg, nag, cling to painful feelings of loss, or cling to the hope of getting it back, but most of all they blame the other person for whatever it is.

But what if I told you that you attracted and created that reality? Yes, you searched for that man/woman of millions knowing full well how it will end! He sounds really crazy, huh?

Let’s say you are a woman, who on the outside seems confident and accomplished, a woman who truly has it all. You meet this guy who seems to have the strength and cool demeanor that you like so much. The relationship starts off so well that, one day, she “forgets” to call when she said she would call. You panic and plummet with anxiety. And when you finally get him on the phone, she says with her cold confidence, “I really don’t feel like talking tonight.” That sends his anxiety level through the roof. Now you’re thinking, maybe he’s lost interest in me, maybe he’s found someone else, maybe he wants to leave me. You get so anxious that you think you’re going to go crazy, and you may even start acting crazy.

He, on the other hand, is acting cool and calm. What once seemed quite strong and a calm demeanor now feels cold, aloof, aloof, and indifferent. This makes you angry enough to say things that put him down, then you turn around and apologize and beg him, then try to “talk some sense into him” and beg and so on. But what you feared would happen actually happens, he leaves you!

But here’s the interesting thing: this isn’t the first time it’s happened to you. You’ve been here before, so many times actually, different circumstances and different people, but the same tired old story.

There is a reason why you fall in love with people who are unavailable or unable to make a commitment, why you fall hopelessly in love with someone who can’t love you the way you deserve, why you end up with irresponsible and unreliable people who love you. go crazy

The people we choose to associate with are not a random choice but a true mirror of our subconscious state at a given moment in our lives. When you feel lonely, rejected, unaccepted, unappreciated, or insecure because you don’t feel good enough, you’ll tend to look for a partner who reflects that on you.

While what you want most is to be loved and accepted, a part of you (that has experienced this before) doesn’t really believe that you will get what you want. This translates into a real feeling of despair that invokes the emotion of fear. Fear motivates your behavior.

This behavior can be avoiding rejections altogether, starting a relationship and getting our quick before you get rejected, or walking into one and acting in a way that drives the other person away. Sometimes you don’t even have to act, the vibration (FEAR) you send out (which is more powerful than any word or action) is received by the other person on a subconscious level. It only takes one small thing (real or imagined) to trigger their fear and start the behavior. In the example above, the trigger was “he doesn’t call”. In your panic to hold on and stop the rejection and abandonment, you actually believe what you fear will happen.

Until you overcome your fear of rejection and abandonment, you will continue to attract people who reject and abandon you over and over again. You will continue to be attracted to men and women who are not attracted to you, who are incapable of love or commitment, or who have no time for you. You will also be attracted to people who live in another city or country (long-distance relationships), people who are married or seriously involved with another person.

So the next time the relationship ends the same way, don’t act shocked, hurt, and betrayed. You committed to an unsustainable relationship knowing full well how it would end!