Lifestyle Fashion

Single women of Baja

What a journey, an incredible adventure to find myself living and thriving in Baja California. It’s almost as if the mighty winds of change are picking me up and carrying me here. In my experience over the past 12 years, I have seen more and more single women take a big step across the border into Baja. They are unique and brave women. They are not listening to negative media or well-meaning friends in America, but have come to take a look for themselves, and what we have all found is a new sense of freedom.

It is curious that this freedom was not found in what we left behind, a country that claims to be the freest country in the world. The women who have chosen to live here may not have been able to express what they were looking for. I certainly couldn’t have put it into words when I first fell in love with “Finisterre”, the end of the southern Baja California land. The Baja sun burned a place in my heart in the early 90’s, and there it burned and took me to the peninsula in 1999. It still burns. Somehow many of us have found our way, we have redefined what freedom is and now we are living lives we could only dream of before crossing the Border.

Not all the women came alone. With their husbands they came and bought a house, but death or divorce caused a great change in life. Most of these now single women have chosen to stay, embracing the life they are recruiting, which would not be possible in the United States during these economic times. We are also uncomfortable with the conservative political leadership and the religious far right that has little respect for women’s rights. This story is not intended to be a political statement, rather it is a statement of a spiritual change; a spirit that yearns to know itself. Many of us would call it a “spiritual adventure story,” and it is truly an adventure to find yourself and flourish in the four ways that are necessary to feel whole and whole: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

As children we believed in the Cinderella story. We spent a lot of time trying to find someone to “complete” us. However, due to personal circumstances, some of us had to face a harsh reality and we find ourselves single. Now a spiritual truth is being discovered; we were actually looking in the wrong direction. Our journey has taken us inward, if we were lucky, to discover or “realize for ourselves” who we are. I can’t speak for all the single women who live here, in this country of abundant wilderness and quiet lonely beaches, but for the majority I have spoken with, the decision to live single claimed them, and not the other way around. The responsibility for our happiness belongs to us. Most of us appreciate men, we have always loved them, but we have never taken the opportunity to learn to fully love ourselves. So this is a story about completion, women finding the missing piece within themselves. Single women with years of experience in life in Baja are the authorities. Talk to one of us before you believe what you read or see in the media about Baja’s negative image.

Of course, the first thing they ask us is “aren’t you afraid?” Our answer is always the same, “NO”. The reason is that we are responsible for ourselves. We know that walking the streets alone at night in any country is dangerous for women, or for that matter, for anyone. They may ask us why we are here, and the answers will be unique like the women themselves, but generally include at least one or more of these: the freedom to be real, the freedom to create, the freedom of land and sea. open. and a slower and more peaceful way of life.

Most of us have reinvented ourselves. We have learned the benefits of living simply. We discover that it frees us, not needing so much. We will never say it was easy, we paid our debts and were tenacious in the face of some horrendous obstacles, but we learned what we are made of and we can never be turned away from that truth. Our determination is to honor what we know. We chase what we love: we travel, tango, make wine, paint, sculpt, write, teach yoga, camp, walk on the beach, and experience time as having nothing to do with the clock. Sometimes we feel lonely or confused, a little crazy, we pray, we cry, we bury our friends, we search for a deeper meaning. Above all we honor our journey and are true to ourselves. We live a full and rich single life in Baja California.

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