If a man will cheat during his engagement, will he cheat when he is married?
Sometimes I hear from women who are engaged and who have discovered that their fiancé has cheated on them. Sometimes this happens at the bachelor party and other times, it happens randomly, but while the engagement is active.
It is understandable that many of these women consider breaking off the engagement and not moving forward with the marriage. After all, if he will cheat on you while you’re engaged, won’t he cheat on you once you’re married? Isn’t it almost always true “once a cheater is always a cheater”? Shouldn’t you go out while things are good? Why would you go through with a marriage to a cheating man before there really is any marital stressors?
Someone might say, “I was ready to get married and then I got an instant message on Facebook from my fiance’s ex-girlfriend saying that her conscience commanded me to admit that my future husband has been coming to her house and sleeping with her for the past two. months. Said it started when he basically contacted her to tell her he was engaged and, in a sense, shut down and fire me. They got together for dinner and one thing led to another. admit he broke up a few weeks ago. She admits he told her that I was so guilty about what they had done and that he was engaged to me and that I could never see her again. So I’m not sure what her motivation was in introducing me now. But I’m a little glad she did it because that it’s something I needed to know. Of course, I confronted my fiancé about this. And he admitted it, but he’s been following me crying about how he can not lose me. Well, maybe I should have considered this yet. before he called his ex. My first inclination was to end the engagement and never see him again. And this is what I told him I was going to do. I wasn’t trying to scare him. I was being totally honest. That was my plan. But then I went a few weeks without him and he called me and enlisted all of our mutual friends to help him. That’s when I started to change my mind slightly and opened my mind to the idea of just putting off the engagement. But many of my friends tell me that I am crazy. They say that if a man cheats on you during your engagement, he will definitely cheat on you during your marriage. They are right? “
I don’t know of anyone who can successfully predict the future. However, infidelity before marriage is not the best sign. That said, I suspect that the cure for this infidelity will be the same as it would be if you were actually married. After all, when you are committed, the commitment is still there. Sure, it’s not as big of a commitment as being married, but it’s serious.
To be confident that this will not happen again, you will have to work hard to find out why it happened, to find a way to prevent it from happening again, and to restore trust and goodwill. Your fiancé must be willing to honestly analyze his motivations and behaviors. What made you approach the other woman in the first place? Once they crossed the line once, why did he come back? Was he going to confess or would you never have found out if the other woman hadn’t told you?
All of these questions must be answered and then the work really begins. I highly recommend getting advice. That may seem overwhelming or not very funny. But it’s so much better to go ahead and do it and then live with a troubled marriage. At the very least, you need good self-help. Very few people have the skills to see the problems necessary to heal the relationship on their own. Most people simply cannot be objective enough or see their relationship the way it should be seen.
But to answer the original question. Cheating once does not always mean repeating the cheat. However, it is a warning sign. And you have plenty of notice of this warning sign, so it may be wise to make sure you do all the necessary work until you are completely comfortable in the future of the wedding. There is no point getting into something that you know may be a future problem when you have the time and foresight to avoid it, and working until you are completely comfortable in the future of the wedding.