How to be happy in marriage: a simple tip for marital happiness
How to stay happy in marriage can be a difficult question to answer because there are many issues and issues that need to be overcome in any marriage that are totally unique and sometimes need to be addressed in different ways. However, there is a simple tip for marital happiness that you can apply in almost any situation.
What is this advice that can be applied to all kinds of marital difficulties, including money, sex, family, responsibilities, and more?
Throw away the scorecard!
What is a scorecard? This is the mental account that we are all guilty of carrying from time to time of hurt feelings and revenge. When your spouse yells at you; remembers it and adds it to the dashboard. When you discover that your domestic duties have been shirked; you remember it and add another. When your spouse buys another set of expensive clothes without consulting him; remember and check another box.
What do we think this achieves? Some think that it is important to know the problems in a relationship and this is true, but mainly what we do with these scorecards is try to equalize it.
Your partner yells at you, you yell at him or do something to hurt him. Your husband doesn’t wash the dishes again so you don’t iron his clothes. Your wife buys another pair of shoes without telling you, so you feel entitled to go on a night out with the boys.
Is this how to be happy in marriage? Maybe you can see the answer …
There is one thing to remember with marriage dashboards. They do not solve anything. They do not cause changes. They just start a cycle of revenge, miscommunication and emotional blackmail and what makes it even worse is that your spouse never knows YOUR account and you don’t know HIS account either. This means that it will never retaliate and it never should.