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Choosing Between Your Heart and Your Mind: How to Tell the Difference

Mind v. Heart:

Decisions, decisions, decisions …

They are part of life. Every day forces us to do them. Some decisions are made quite easily, without much thought, and others take time, forcing us to think about all the ‘what ifs’ as a result.

You can make some decisions and your life will remain almost the same. However, there is also the possibility that a decision could be life altering, forever changing its course and direction.

Regardless of whether you make a decision quickly or slowly, with good reason or bad, something will happen. As Ralph Waldo Emerson states, “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” It is a cause and effect reaction that can be altered.

Getting to the point of compromise requires thinking, sometimes rethinking your expectations, and developing patience until you feel confident with your choice. Once committed in your heart or mind, the next most important step is to move forward with what you believe is best.

“At any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do, the best thing is the wrong thing and the worst thing is to do nothing.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Then the final step is to move forward with the confidence of knowing that you have made a decision that you believe is the best one and that you will stick with it. If it turns out as you expected, then everything is fine. If not, then everything is fine, because it allows you to learn, develop and grow.

Are there decisions you need to make today?

Need to prioritize and choose which tasks are most important on your growing list?

Will you decide how to approach a difficult conversation with a friend, family member, mentor, colleague, coworker, or supervisor?

Do you need to make a decision for something simpler, like what to make for dinner?

Maybe it’s something much more difficult, like keeping a family member on life support or not? Or possibly walking away from a career in search of something bigger?

Regardless of how you arrive at your decision, it is important to understand that the decision will be based on one of two places: your heart or your mind.

The differences between decisions of the mind and decisions of the heart:

I don’t always believe that the heart and mind are aligned. Many times, there never seems to be a congruence between the two, as if the passion of the heart is in serious conflict with the analysis of the mind.

The challenge is that life forces you to make decisions that require both types of decisions, but it is your responsibility to make that decision. When faced with a decision, the heart and mind will each have their own agenda, pushing and pulling you in one way or another. At the end of the day, only you can decide the right move to make.

Would you rather listen to your ‘instinct’ (mind) or follow your heart? Both paths provide a different set of realities, truths so to speak, that contribute to the process both before and after the decision is made.

When you can identify what these truths are, it will be easier to determine whether certain decisions would be best made with your heart or your mind.

That said, the following ideas are some of these truths, or differences, that help to discern if a decision is being made or will be made, using something deep within us that gives us life or something that speaks to us directly:

1. Decisions of the heart are processed over and over again. Decisions of the mind are analyzed and made reactively.

2. Decisions of the heart take the journey into consideration Decisions of the mind think about getting to the next step.

3. Decisions of the heart tend to involve passions, purpose, and the pursuit of something greater. Decisions of the mind are often set on immediate gratification and the satisfaction of the desire to want something.

4. Decisions of the heart take into consideration the impact that decision will have on others. The decisions of the mind are somewhat narcissistic: think about yourself.

5. Decisions of the heart open doors of opportunity for help from others (see numbers 1-4). Decisions of the mind have the ability to block the help of others (see number 4).

6. Decisions of the heart are absorbed into long-term investments. The decisions of the mind are immersed in short-term gains.

7. Decisions of the heart display feelings of doubt, frustration, hope, and peace. Decisions of the mind show feelings of excitement, excitement, enthusiasm, and joy.

8. Decisions of the heart can generate moments of regret when the decision does not go according to plan. Decisions of the mind move forward as if nothing has happened.

9. Decisions of the heart provide a deep level of growth and learning, something to draw on for future decisions. The decisions of the mind create a reminder of what happened last time.

10. Decisions of the heart challenge the status quo, are not sexy, and will likely be asked to explain. Decisions of the mind are logical, easy to justify, and “make sense.”

As you think about these ten truths, take a minute to think about a decision you are in the process of making: today, this week, in the next month or year. Based on these thoughts, are you more inclined to make a decision based on what your heart feels or what your mind is telling you?

The life you live is a crazy, beautiful and challenging adventure. It requires you to make choices. And tough decisions are made by tough people.

There is no right or wrong way to go. As an individual, you will likely fall on one end of the spectrum or the other, driven by your heart or influenced by your mind. However, the most important thing to remember is that, in life, you must use both.

When you’re not sure which route is best, take a look at the ten ideas listed above. Then ask yourself, “What am I trying to accomplish? What is my goal in making this decision?”

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