Book Review – Lost in Reflecting Pond by Diane Pomerantz

In “Lost in the Reflecting Pool,” psychologist Diane Pomerantz takes us with her as she reflects on her painful marriage to a narcissistic psychiatrist named Charlie. When their relationship began, it seemed like the good outweighed the bad. Charlie “did all the right things,” causing Diane to miss some warning signs. Over time, the couple dealt with issues of infertility, adoption, and Diane’s breast cancer. Charlie’s behavior worsened and Diane was left emotionally abandoned. It was painful to read her as she tried to keep her family together as she struggled to survive. During this time, Diane also discovered that Charlie was having inappropriate relationships with several of her patients. In addition to her other abominable behavior, Charlie also leaves a diary for Diane to see and read about her hatred towards her. Diane knew that she had to find a way to move on with her life before Charlie completely destroyed her.

“Lost in a Reflecting Pool” has some truly heartbreaking moments, but Diane’s strength shines through as she finds a way out and is able to create a better life for herself and her children. Her journey will give strength to others who find themselves in similar circumstances. Having personally experienced relationships with narcissists, I was able to relate to much of what she went through, especially as I look back and see how I allowed myself to miss the warning signs. In one case, I became close friends with the ex-wife of someone with whom she had been in a relationship. As she repeated her own narcissistic behaviors to me, she told me that seeing this helped her realize that she was not crazy. I can totally understand this, because I think it’s hard for many of us to understand how someone can take pleasure in causing pain to others, especially those who are supposed to be loved ones. In Diane’s case, she was a psychologist and he was a psychiatrist. She was in a profession with high ethical standards, especially with regards to patients.

I suspect that some people with narcissistic tendencies may choose careers in mental health because of the ease with which they find their victims. For those of us who sincerely choose to work in professions where we want to help others, this is unimaginable, but there is evidence that it really happens. Charlie took his behavior to the next level in that he emotionally abused his family. I see him as a greedy sociopath. I am so glad that Diane managed to escape and raised two successful children.

Diane Pomerantz’s “Lost in the Reflecting Pool” is a critical story for others to read, especially if they are beginning to see some telltale signs. This memory is amazing. Well written and straight from the heart, people will easily identify with much of what you write. Diane is truly inspiring, and I believe that by sharing her harrowing journey, she will help others avoid the same pain. A wonderful message of hope and courage.