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Are we mediating or negotiating?

To be successful in life, we learn negotiation skills early on. We begin to negotiate when we are babies, knowing that when we coo in a certain way, we get a favorable response. When we say mom or dad, our parents respond with smiles, hugs, and kisses, so we begin to learn that if we give others what they want, we will get what we want. As we age, we begin to learn to negotiate verbally. Our parents tell us that if we eat our vegetables, we will make them happy and we can get a toy (or whatever makes us happy). However, if we do what they want, like clean our room, we get a certain CD that we wanted. As we mature into adolescence and early adulthood, we find that the art of negotiation comes in handy when we want something more substantial. For example, we will do anything to get our own car and we will offer to do things in the next few years to have that special transport. As adults, we have already learned that negotiation is the foundation of acquisition. In business, negotiation is used multiple times a day to accomplish whatever it takes to make a deal. In marriage, negotiation becomes the art of staying together, and when marriages don’t work out, we see that our negotiation skills are what we need to get out of the marriage as intact as possible. It seems that negotiation is fundamental to our lives, as we discover that we are always negotiating in one way or another. So is there a difference between negotiation and mediation, or are they the same?

Negotiation * is defined as:

1.Confer, discuss or negotiate to reach an agreement.
2.To make arrangements, settle or conclude (a business transaction, treaty, etc.)
3.transfer, assign or sell (negotiable paper)
4. be successful in crossing, tracing, traversing, etc.

Whereas, Mediation * is:

1. The act of mediating; intervention.
2. The state of being mediated.
3. The act or process of mediation; friendly or diplomatic intervention, usually by

consent or invitation, to resolve differences between people, nations, etc.

* Webster’s New World College Dictionary Copyright © 2010 by Wiley Publishing, Inc., Cleveland, Ohio. Used by arrangement with John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

In short, negotiation is the art of reaching an agreement with another party through discussion and compromise, and mediation is ending a disagreement between at least two parties by using an intermediate person who has nothing. to do with disagreement. We use negotiation regularly in daily life, but we use mediation only when we cannot reach an agreement with the other party directly. Although both methodologies employ similar aspects, mediation uses a more formal protocol.

In our everyday lives, we use negotiation to help facilitate what we want and make our lives easier. In a marriage, the art of negotiation is paramount in allowing the marriage to continue. When marriages cannot continue, for whatever reason, it is usually a sign that negotiations have broken down and mediation becomes necessary to allow the marriage to continue or end. Counselors act as targeted third parties (mediators) with appropriate training who essentially help the parties find answers and learn to negotiate their problems. When counseling doesn’t work, meaning the parties no longer want to negotiate their issues, the next step is mediation, orchestrated by family mediators who help the parties negotiate an end to the marriage and allow the participants to get on with their lives. separated.

Ending a marriage through mediation allows participants to leave the entity with a measure of respect and a greater ability to move on with their lives. While “moving on” is very difficult for most people who have been married for many years and who choose to end the marriage, it is a necessary and significant outcome. People who cannot “move on” are strongly urged to seek advice to assist them in their new roles.

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